All Over the Place

So I'm a JUNIOR already. I remember when i first started attending UCEC. I was a flirty, little, loud freshman that probably had a lot of haters, considering i loved flirting and attention. I've changed so much since then. I'm super quiet now, & I have no clue why. I don't know , I guess it's because Stephen gives me all fo the attention I need. But sometimes I miss being loud & fun. I wish I could go back to that person. The only time I am that person again, is when I'm with Stephen or a couple of my girlfriends. Any other time I don't really feel comfy doing that. I feel like I'll be judged in a bad way. I have toned down a ton since then. It's good yet bad, because some people think I'm snobby, but I'm far from that. I'm just self-concious sometimes & nervous & shy. I don't now how to be all smooth as I was anymore. But I'm trying to go back to that, to hanging out with my girlfriends more & saying things that just pop into my head. &+ being more chillllll. &+ not taking what I have in life too serious. You only get one life & I don't want to look back on it and think that I did nothing with it.
Yeah, I know, I'm all over the place, but I needed to get it out.